Cocky Funny Concept: A Beginning
This article is from the weekly newsletter sent out to men just like you, that want to have more success with women. Read on:
Hello,
I truly believe that this is a great site. I am learning a whole lot about the opposite sex. I saw myself in the last story. I had meet this beautiful girl at a club.
I walked up to her we started communicating for almost 30min.
So I asked her to dance she told me no. So I thought to myself why would she say no after having a great conversation with me?
I then asked for her telephone number-she again said no. She then went and danced with another guy after she told me she is not in a dancing mood.
While dancing with this guy she kept looking towards my direction. But I played it cool-as if I did not have a care in the world.
So I left the club. The following weekend I saw her again, but did not look into her direction but she then walked up to me and started talking. So I kept the conversation brief by telling her that I am talking to my friends.
She then asked if I want to dance, I told her again I am talking to my friends. Anyway by the end of the night she asked for my number and I gave it to her. Now we have been hanging out for a few weeks but here is my question.
We have chilled out at my place and at her place. Eat dinner, she has spend the night at my place and I at her place. But no sex between us. She refuse to have sex (as she say not yet because it changes things). I mean we have kisses, undressed each other but no sex.
I do believe that she is playing a power game. She wants to control
the sex part. I think I pamper her too much and I am losing control of
my power with her (open doors, cook dinner-breakfast, out to eat etc). I
really like her.
What you think.
O.
Reply:
Please forgive me for laughing at what must be a painful experience for you... LOL!
Ouch.
OK, so here's my analysis:
1) She knew that she owned you from the very beginning
2) You did the right thing by not acting overly-anxious at the second meeting
3) She probably said to herself: "Oh, he's playing hard to get, huh? Well, I'll bet that he's really just a wussy-boy that I can have some fun with... so let's find out."
4) SHE KNOWS THAT YOU WANT HER BADLY. And, as you probably learned in economics, price goes up as demand goes up.
5) You sure do have a keen sense of the obvious with your assessment of "I do believe she is playing a power game" and your ability to discern that she's controlling the sex.
6) You need to turn the tables around, stop needing her so badly, and STOP ACTING LIKE A WUSSY!
OK, so how do you do this? Well, the short answer is:
Get your power back... she has you where she wants you and you have decided this isn't how you want things to be.
Start making her wait for you. Start to tease her more about the "relationship" you have. It doesn't sound to me that either are more committed than the other but this power game continues.
Let her miss you for a couple of days. Tell her no once in a while, she's see your strength then moves either closer to you or farther away, in any case, are you dating exclusively? Maybe it's time to add some freedom and more on with other women.
I can identify where you went wrong from the events that you laid out in your letter.
You chased her.
You waited for her.
She approached you and you put her off but that was only partly good. You should have instead of just saying that you're talking with your friends you should have given her a piece of paper and said, "Write down your phone number, I'll get back to you." Cockiness at it's best.
And you would have gained back the power you lost to her from the very start.
Guys, attraction happens in an instant. There is no way to manipulate a woman into being attracted to you. But the very next instant a power play of sorts starts.
Who is going to bend first to the other's power?
By being "cocky" with her you maintain the control of this very new relationship. Then, to maintain the cocky method of starting to date her you have to decide what, when and where.
What: Will the two of you do. You must be the one to decide this. Always have a plan. And make sure you don't see her more than a couple of times a week, including phone calls and emails, so that you maintain a little mystery of the "What" you're about.
When: Will you get together, outside of other activities and work. Part of this master plan is about being the taker, and being the one that is met at places. You tell her when to meet you. You decide the time or she misses out. Don't break this pattern.
Where: This is the most important. She says pizza, you already have decided burgers. You need to have the "where' planned out to keep her trying to understand you, rather than trying to run the relationship her way.
Got it?
For the review of the "Big Picture" of being cocky and funny, read Double Your Dating" here online, right now.
For the complete bigger picture, read and watch the DVD program "Cocky and Funny" here.